What are you hiding – How to heal grief?
When a tragic event occurs in your life, you might tend to believe that lack of acknowledgement, repressed feelings, denial are the means of coping with the strong emotions you are experiencing. Hiding your real state of mind and feelings from others and from yourself is a normal tendency, but sooner or later, you will conclude that this has caused more harm than good. It’s important to be aware of the best coping mechanisms and to use the right methods of healing. It’s up to you to prolong or shorten your suffering, and you are probably interested in the latter. Emotional healing is challenging, however, so how will you be able to do it? What could possibly help you adjust to your situation and find peace? While the exact process is different from one individual to another, each person has their own methods depending on their nature and on the specifics of their situation, there are a few standard things you can, in fact, try, which will facilitate a faster healing process:
Say it out loud! Acknowledgement
You will never be able to move on from something if you are incapable of letting it out, of actually expressing what has hurt you, how you are feeling, the exact emotions you are experiencing at the
moment. It could be anger, it could be frustration, it could be plain sadness – it doesn’t matter, the feelings are there whether you admit it or not, and the sooner you acknowledge them and become honest with yourself, the faster the healing can begin. Acknowledging your emotions and actually accepting them is hard, so you should find the appropriate environment to do so. Find an option you would feel comfortable with, perhaps talking with your family, confiding in a close friend, or even going to therapy, choose what works best for you personally, but let those feeling out.
See your loss as growth
The worst experiences in life are the ones that provide the most learning opportunities. While you might not be able to observe the potential message, your current situation is transmitting, you will, at some point, realize that the overall experience has actually helped you grow as an individual. The event that is currently causing you grief and unwanted emotions could have various massages you need to pick up on. Perhaps you will learn that some things in life are unable to change as much as you would want them, maybe you will become more understanding, perhaps you can even manage becoming more resilient. Try to detach yourself even for a moment and to maybe find that element that will actually help your mind and spirit. Once you are able to slightly change your mindset and absorb the lesson learned, things will become much easier.
“Think positive” is not a cliché – surround yourself with positivity
Keeping yourself active and thus your mind preoccupied is important when you are trying to get back on your feet after a loss. You might be tired of hearing the same old cliché from everyone “think positive”, but you will actually understand the essence of that saying yourself anytime soon. Thinking positive and maintaining a positive attitude will however not come naturally, and it will be difficult, so try to surround yourself with people who exuberate that type of energy, engage in activities that help you recharge your batteries and try to replace any negative thought with a more positive alternative through cognitive modification.
Allow yourself to move forward!
A constant state of sadness, self-pity, regret, guilt can become addictive – you might tend to unconsciously presume that you shouldn’t be allowed to experience peace and happiness again. This usually happens in the situation when someone dear passes away. Well, the final healing step you need to take is actually allowing yourself to move forward, to leave the unfortunate event behind, to finally feel liberated. At first, the feeling of something holding you back will remain present, but it’s important to keep pushing, to keep practising. Cherish the happy moments in your life, while accepting and letting the sad moment be present when they appear too – soon full liberation will be obtained.