Learning how death changes your life completely as a twenty-something isn’t something you expect to experience. Receiving a call to say your mum has died or having experienced being by your mum’s side for her final last breaths is something you are never ever prepared for. To say your whole world gets shaken upside down can feel like an understatement.
Facing death as a twenty-something years-old will be the most difficult thing you will do. But on the way, you can learn so many things about happiness and healing, things that your mother would have told you herself.
#1. Life will still be full of gift
And that gift can come in many shapes and ways. There is a gift in the workday, there is a gift in waiting, there is a gift in patience. Death will teach you to appreciate all life’s small and mundane parts.
#2. Loss can bring so many unexpected blessings
A difficult loss will teach you how to seek comfort in ways and places you normally wouldn’t. People you wouldn’t expect to will show support and you will learn how to find small joys in everyday life – a thing that you would have previously neglected.
#3. Love can be found in unexpected places
Instead of emphasizing achievement in your life as a currency for happiness, you will learn that above all, love is what brings us together and makes our existence worthy. And you will learn how to find love in unexpected places, pushed by grief and sadness.
#4. Enjoy the present – no matter what
People have a tendency to stick to the past and worry about the future. After the death of a loved one, you are more likely to appreciate the present, the gift that comes with the moment. You will learn to passionately and fearlessly enjoy every second of your life.
#5. Nobody will ever fill that void – and it’s ok
The mum-shaped void will remain in your heart. But as time passes and you develop better and better coping mechanisms, you also learn that the void itself is a primal spot in our heart that will never be filled by anybody else. And that’s OK. You will find other female-models to look up to and you will find other female role models that inspire you. Just differently than your mother did.
#6. Be easy on yourself
In the months following the death of a loved one, you won’t be yourself anymore. Forgive yourself, just like others forgive you.
#7. Use whatever works to heal yourself
You may not be religious, but finding the solution to overcome bereavement and find yourself might come in unexpected places or shapes. Accept those.
#8. Be selfless
Losing someone will teach you how to become less self-centred and pay more attention to other’s needs. You will find happiness in making others happy, like never before.
#9. Show gratitude daily
Be grateful for those years you have with your loved ones. And show them that you appreciate and enjoy every little moment with them.
#10. Accept heartbreak
After the death of someone so close, you will be tempted to avoid human connection and relationships. Because, obviously, relationships might cause more sorrow. But allowing yourself to get hurt and heartbroken is a sign of progress.