Some say that feeling alive is necessarily bound to being fully aware of an imminent death. But unfortunately, we rarely realize this strong connection, at least not until a loved one passes. That moment usually makes us remember the way they lived their lives, the best moments with them and makes us realize that we should learn to love ourselves and allow ourselves to enjoy life as we can.
Being aware of an imminent death might offer you more wisdom than you think and not only insecurity and fear, as we usually anticipate.
The problem with the way people live their lives today is that we don’t get to enjoy every moment. We do everything in a rush, we are “doers”. Truth is, in the process of accomplishing a better career position, a better education and dealing with our mundane, daily lives, we forget to enjoy those things that we truly love. Our deepest passions and hobbies. Adult people don’t have the right to have fun, to enjoy themselves, to live their lives fully; they have to provide and always achieve more. The question is: do you want to be fully disappointed when you acknowledge the inevitable death waiting for you, or you want to be filled with joy because your life was lived fully? Below are some pieces of advice on living your life fully, from those who faced bereavement and the loss of a loved one.
1. Life is always short
No matter of the number of years that you gather, at the end of your life, you will be full of regret. All those small things and accomplishments lose their shine in death’s face and only those who were coping with grief and the loss one a loved one, at some point, can truly realise this. Life can be taken away from you in unexpected ways, in a moment nobody would have guessed. If you struggled with the premature loss of someone, you certainly understand this statement. So, if you don’t want to go full of regret, when the time comes, expectedly or not, acknowledge and accept the fact that death won’t wait and you never know when the time comes.
2. Questioning your existence will make you transform your lifestyle
Especially those who have lost a loved one before an old age can truly subscribe to this. Seeing a life pass in an instant, when so much of the journey was still ahead, will make you question your own existence. Death, for many, is like a wake-up call to start paying attention to those things they are truly passionate about, their deepest desires, their close ones, valuable relationships and so on. For many, coping with grief is a life lesson and after the excruciating pain and anger pass, they start making those important changes in their lives; those important changes that allow living their lives in a fulfilling fashion.
3. Death will make you want to simplify your life
Living a complex and complicated life won’t bring any fulfilment. In fact, will make you lose focus on those important, joyful and fulfilling things in life: family, friends and the simple pleasures in life, like enjoying a day out in the sun. After the sudden death of a loved one, you will learn how to let go of anger, envy and resentment and you will start to replace those with love, gratitude and forgiveness. After all, life’s too short for all those negative, complicated feelings.
4. Death will teach you to express love more frequently
For many, a fully lived life is the life in which they feel loved and appreciated and make others feel the same. But when you go through all those mundane, insignificant daily tasks and goals that will bring you a pay raise or a promotion, it’s easy to forget how to express love. And this will become obvious only when a loved one passes and you can’t say those words anymore. You would, but it is futile now. So, learn from other’s grief and sadness and try to express your love more frequently, while you can. Verbally or through small gestures, just take those extra minutes daily to express your gratitude for those who really matter in your life.
5. Death teaches you to be present
We know, we all have busy lives and we don’t always want to show up at different events and gatherings. But according to those who battled remorse and extreme grief after the loss of a loved one, not being present was one of those things they regretted the most. How you interact and enjoy your time with your loved ones will certainly make you feel alive. Learn how to be thankful for the time you still have with your family or friends and how to achieve happiness.
Bottom line is, you shouldn’t wait for someone you love to die, to learn how to fully enjoy your life. But death can still prove a cruel, unforgiving teacher.