Sitting with Grief How Meditation Can Help

Losing someone you love is so personal. Nobody can possibly know how you truly feel.  With some many different factors that create a unique set of circumstances for every one of us: our relationship with the person who has passed, with others who are grieving, the nature of the death, our belief system, and perspective on life, to name but a few.

When someone experiences a loss, it’s not unusual for them to experience many different emotions.  Some people describe it as waves of emotions, some more intense than others.  Whilst others may experience numbness or feel completely crushed and at rock bottom.  Because grief, bereavement and heartache are part of experiencing life, there isn’t anything we can do to avoid it!  Although, there is a lot we can do when it comes to dealing with the grief.

Although the use of a grief counsellor can be an integral part of the recovery process, there are other steps that can be taken to ensure grief doesn’t have a long-term negative impact on our life moving forward.

Why Meditation Helps with Grief

Many will feel grief in its rawest form following a loss, so it may seem counterintuitive to embrace other people’s pain as a recovery aid, but this is where the holistic benefits of meditation come into play.

Meditation helps us reflect on loss and grief in a calm and peaceful way, often meaning that the circumstances are better understood. It can also aid those who may experience sharp negative emotions following an upsetting event. Recognising the different outlooks, we can adopt doesn’t mean that the person or event must be forgotten or pushed out, but it does mean we can move forward without the trauma acting as a shackle.

Getting Started with Meditation

To some, meditation may seem a little off-the-wall, especially if it’s something that’s not been tried in the past. However, many take to meditation very easily, although the effects can depend on the nature of the trauma, and the journey the person takes when practising meditation.

Of course, at first, it is quite natural to fear sitting still and connecting and to feel such strong emotions, images, memories and thoughts. But it’s knowing that by sitting with one’s grief, allows the opportunity where thoughts can be heard, and feelings felt.  This is allowing the person’s own healing system to become activated and go to work. Not only that, but in stepping out of the confusion that so often accompanies the loss of a loved one, a person is better able to connect: with themselves, with those they have lost, with others who are grieving and, ultimately, with a renewed perspective of the world.

If you are trying meditation for the first time, be kind to yourself.  Your mind will wander and that’s normal. Instead of wrestling with your thoughts, practice observing, noticing them with curiosity and view them as clouds passing by.  And as soon as you can and without telling yourself off just gently return your focus back onto your breath.

You will find some good guided meditations on YouTube on grief.  You may also like to try a relaxation meditation or one to help you go to sleep.  You may also like to try my healing meditations which will be coming very soon!

When dealing with grief, there is no overall solution that can be applied in every instance, but meditation certainly does help with attaining a more relaxed and calmer demeanour, which means navigating the dark waters of grief isn’t as upsetting as it may have once been.